3 mindful steps to stop worrying all the time

Dec 19

In this article, we will examine worry to better understand where it is coming from and how to get free from it.

Follow these 3 mindful steps to stop worrying all the time:

Awareness / identification of the worry.
Journaling.
Return to the present moment.

WORRIES ARE ABOUT THE FUTURE, NOT about THE PRESENT

First of all, whatever our worries are about, they are future based. They are about something that could or could not happen in the future, while the only thing we really have is the moment present.

As Eckhart Tolle says:

“Don't let the thought of future (or past) obscure the preciousness of the present moment. […]

The only existence that future has is as a thought in your head. Beyond that, there is no such a thing as future. It is a conceptual thing only. When the future comes (which is a thought), in the space of your aware presence, the light of consciousness, it can only appear as the present moment. There is no such thing as “future”.

Future is a thought.”

The danger of overthinking about this conceptual thing, which is the future, can shift your focus from the present moment.

One of the principles of mindful living is to return to the present moment as much as possible.

WORRIES ARE OFTEN ABOUT OTHERS OR LIFE IN GENERAL

Have you noticed that worries are most of the time about others or life?

For example:

I worry that robbers will burglarize my house.
I worry that I won’t have enough money to travel next year.
I worry that my son will be unsuccessful if he doesn’t get good grades at school.
I worry that my cholesterol is going to get so high.
I worry about my father because he is sick.
I worry that my boyfriend won’t find me attractive in 10 years.
I worry that the climate change will affect my grandchildren.
I worry that my wife will cheat on me.

As you can see, worries are quite tricky and disguise themselves as genuine concerns and care. Worries are very persuasive and seduce us to buy into them as if they were real.

3 MINDFUL STEPS TO STOP WORRYING

1. Awareness / identification of the worry:

You need to first identify worry as such: this is a worry. It has nothing to do with reality as it is right now. It relates to the future, and it is about another or life in general.

If you do not start by instantly identifying the worry as such, you might soon be wrapped up with it without realizing it.

2. Journaling

Then, create a journal in which you list all your “future worries”, as they come.

This should help you realize that these are thoughts about things that have not yet materialized, with a possibility of never manifesting at all.

3. Come back to the present moment

If one of the key principles of conscious living is to come back to the present moment as much as possible, it is because it really can change your life.

Become aware of the fact that the future-related thought (the worry) took you away from the present moment, and gently come back to it. Notice carefully your digressions and divergences, before coming back to the present moment.

This requires constant mindfulness practice; it is not easy in the beginning but will drastically improve your quality of life over time.

Practicing meditation can tremendously improve your ability to come back to the present moment.

Remember that future is most of the time irrelevant (but could be useful, if used appropriately, for planning or organizational purposes, for example).

Then, identify what you can do at the moment in asking yourself:

What is actually happening in here and now?
Am I accepting the is-ness of the present moment?
Is there something that I can change now?
How can I modify my life or my behavior right now?

Emilie Ormond